Why is this important?
I'm passionate about mental health issues, and the emotional well-being of society. You may think, “What does that have to do with marriage and my wedding?”, and the answer is “Everything!” Our emotional and mental health is greatly shaped by the relationship between our parents, especially in our first few years of life. If our parents have a healthy relationship, communicate effectively, and create a calm, validating, loving, attentive, and safe home environment, we are much more likely to grow up a securely attached, confident, and stable individual. On the other hand, if our family environment is loud, invalidating, negligent, threatening, and feels unsafe, we will most likely adopt unhealthy and unsustainable coping mechanisms that will create many problems later in our lives. These problems are many of the underlying reasons for divorce, homelessness, crime, teen pregnancy, codependency, eating disorders, and more.
In my efforts to help minimize preventable suffering, I’m choosing to target the root of the problem: unstable home environment. In creating strong and healthy marriages, the family structure is strengthened and becomes a better environment for raising emotionally intelligent children, contributing to not only the well-being of the couple but of future generations.
Here are 16 shocking statistics conveying the importance of investing in Pre-Marital Education or Relationship Coaching.
- The average marriage only last 8 years.
- 70% of divorces are initiated by women.
- 50% of male suicide happens soon after a divorce.
- The rate of divorce increases with each time to get married.
- Only 25% of marriages survive infidelity.
- 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.
- In a study of 56 school shootings, only 10 of the shooters (18%) were raised in a stable home with both biological parents. Eighty-two percent grew up in either an unstable family environment or grew up without both biological parents together.
- Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.
- 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes.
- Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.
- Your chance of divorce is 2x as likely if your own parents divorced.
- Children of divorced parents have 3x the risk of depression, anxiety, and behavioral issues.
- Your chance of divorce triples if your friends are going through divorce.
- On average Women lose 41% of their income after divorce.
- First marriages have a divorce rate of 41, second marriages have a divorce rate of 60% and third marriages top the charts at 73% rate of divorce.
- 72% of couples felt unprepared for the responsibilities and roles of marriage.
Although some parents stay together, the conflict and chaos between them cause dysfunction and chaos in the home. Minimizing the divorce rate is amazing, but the real goal is peace and harmony. Staying together doesn’t do too much good if there is unrest, chaos, fear, and constant conflict. Only 35% of married couples are actually happy, and my goal is to increase that number. I want to give you the tools you need to grow a happy and healthy family.
Vows are Promises
When you marry, part of your vows are "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part."
These vows include the difficulties of life, the misfortunes, sadness, disappointments, and more. Make sure to keep in mind, that marriage is not "happily ever after". Marriage doesn't prevent the realities of life from happening to you, it only ensures you will have someone to go through them with.
Marriage takes Continued Effort
Planning dates, buying flowers, writing love notes, and sweet surprises aren't just for the beginning. These little details are what sustains the love, care, and intimacy for the duration of your entire marriage. In order for the relationship to last, the effort must as well.
You Reap What You Sow
Just like you wouldn't plant a seed, and then forget it; you can't put your relationship on autopilot once you're married. Gardens flourish with weeding, watering, fertilizing, and careful tending, your relationship also requires maintenance. If you put hard work into the care and upkeep of your marriage, not only will it last, it will thrive.